Thursday, August 12, 2010
Along with probably everyone in the western world, I am engaged in a lifelong struggle between feeling exhausted from being too busy to feeling useless because I'm not doing enough. It can happen over weeks or sometimes in a matter of hours.
It actually feels kind of stupid to complain because as my husband says, all of the time, "it's all good." But I'm tired. The last month hasn't even been unusual and probably a lot like everyone elses life. Much has been fun--like vacation. Some was a little sad--a daughter back at school. Some was annoying--because we moved there are new schools and new lives that obviously need some fine tuning. So there's the hours at the elementary, the new junior high and the loads of cash I sent with my daughter to the high school.
This evening with myself on my mind I went and sat on the back porch. All I can think about is how little I've done and how much still needs to be accomplished. I say a little prayer asking for help, especially with prioritizing my life. As I finish a hummingbird flies up to within six inches of my nose.
Now, I swear I am not exaggerating when I tell you he proceeded to cock his head and look at me quizzically. He continued to hover perfectly in a way that made him look as if he was standing on air. Then, while I barely had time to process that the hummingbird was actually staring at me, another came up, hovered momentarily, as if curious to why his friend wasn't devouring trumpet vine nectar, and then chased the first away.
They merrily flew away up the canyon. I merrily went in the house and forgot the gloom!
One of the many hummingbirds I
discovered in our trumpet vine today.