Life is Loud

I know it seems as if I've dropped off the map and I guess I have. Sometimes all you can do is live and that doesn't include anything extra--just the eating, sleeping, kids, work, and church kind of thing. No exploring feelings, making the bed, writing a chapter, or enjoying a long bath (okay I still seem to find time to do that) kind of thing. Just getting by with the bare minimum. Sometimes life shouts and everything else has to take a back seat.

In fact right now I am procrastinating what I really should be doing--packing up because we're moving Saturday. The moving is a really good thing and overdue. It is much more sustainable! I am into all things sustainable. Our mantra at work is sustainable, sustainable, sustainable and it has gotten into my bones. Where we are moving I can walk to the grocery store, restaurants, and the bus practically picks up my kids at the front door for school. Here's a funny fact--my current kitchen uses 16 lightbulbs (and that doesn't include under-counter lighting) I think the whole new house has less than that and it isn't even a dark house (Disclaimer: this may be a slight exagerration). It's smaller, but not too small and has a view!

So between winter sleepiness and getting ready to move I haven't had any extraneous thoughts--at least not the useful kind. A writer needs extraneous thoughts to write. I find life profoundly unsatisfying without those fleeting, wispy, luminous companions. I am going to find those thoughts, rip them out of the air and plant them back into my life where they belong. If life shouts I think it's time to take a deep breath and yell right back.

February, oh February My Nemesis

Well, my relentlessly upbeat quotes from William James didn’t save me from February. Every year I get a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I say it’s mild, because I don’t usually need medication and it takes the form of hibernation. I just don’t want to do anything. I want to sleep, eat and watch TV. That’s it. This year it was no worse than usual—but somehow February slipped away in a gray blanket. It didn’t help that February was dim—not with our usual temperature inversion but with Northwest like weather, temperate with light rain showers and gray skies.

This is my excuse for not blogging, SAD, even though I didn’t really even feel sad, just tired. I haven’t had a really bad February in a long time. A bad February is when I find myself crying and sighing all over the place. 

Someday I will beat February into submission.

Brief February Catch-Up

Sundance

The first noteworthy event of February happened in January. That was the Sundance Film Festival. I have a couple of friends that do a little Sundance sightseeing every January and they invited us along. It was silly, cold and fun. It was fun to watch people try to spot celebrities but not act like they were trying to spot celebrities. (I am included in this group.) I saw about a thousand character actors that I couldn’t quite place—but knew I’d seen before.

My favorite star spot was Ron Livingston—the man for handsomely disgruntled thirty-somethings (now 40-somethings—I just looked him up and we are the same age! Joy!). I watched Office Space again in his honor.

The Cake Fight

My daughter wanted to have some friends over after the Valentine’s Dance to decorate cakes. She then advised us to put down a tarp because she thought it might get “messy.” We had at least twenty-four layers that were to make 8 cakes. My husband and I stayed downstairs to kind-of keep an eye on things. Once they were busy decorating we went upstairs for 10 minutes and suddenly things got very noisy. My husband went downstairs just to check on things, because really how bad can things get in 10 minutes. When he came back up his face was ashen and he said, “You are not going to believe this.” I went downstairs and it was beyond words.

The whole floor was this bad!

They had the cake fight to end all cake fights. Good kids from good homes—went beserk for 10 minutes. The floor was so slippery with about twelve pounds of butter cream frosting that we kept slipping and falling. There were frosting footprints in our carpet. The kids were so dirty they had to shower off before they could get into their cars. Our family, my daughter and a few of the perpetrators spent the next 24 hours cleaning. I counted the hours we all spent that first twelve hours after the fight and and it was 43 man hours.  It took another week to completely de-grease everything. Yesterday I was cleaning and I found    chunks of cake behind our blinds. It’s like an Easter egg hunt from Hades.   Face disguised to protect the not-so-innocent

There you have it--Winter reduced me to star stalking and cleaning. 

William James Quote of the Week

Quote #2

“If you believe that feeling bad
or worrying long enough will change
a past or future event,

then you are residing on another
planet with a different reality system.”

Do you like how William looks today. I thought he might enjoy a more colorful reality system.

I love this quote--I seem to like to live in the future and I often regret things I've said in the past. Hopefully I can just live in the present.

I also use it often with my kids because I have a couple of great worryers.

It also makes me think that William James was a secret fan of science fiction and he too may believe in the existence of a parallel universe. Justifying my view that the world has gone awry!

P.S. Warning!! I am going to be relentlessly upbeat until winter is over.

William James Quote of the Week

Last year my father introduced me to William James and his philosophy/psychology. Of course I had heard of him because he is one of the famous James brothers. (Henry is a novelist that writes like a psychologist and William is a psychologist that writes like a novelist.) I still found that I didn't know much about him.

 My dad mentioned the idea that if you want to change act "as if" you are already that changed person and then you become it.  I choose to believe that he mentioned that to me in passing, not because I needed to act differently! Anyway--that is beside the point as usual. The point is, I looked him up (William) and his quotes are quite amazing, so here we begin the William James journey.

Quote #1

"I don't sing because
I'm happy;

I'm happy because I sing."

Doesn't he look happy?!

Disclaimer: I don't think this applies to medical conditions such as: clinical depression, bipolar disorder etc. It's a little too simple for that, but I have found that in times of trouble acting happy can lead to feeling better!

I'm taking William James word on this today though. It is January after all and I believe happiness may reside in Hawaii. (Although I wouldn't know I've never been--tragic I know.)

Nutrisystem--What is it with all the portion control?

I’ve been on Nutrisystem for a week this Saturday. It has been really fun and hard. Every meal is like a new adventure. Sometimes it’s like going to the DMV adventure and other times its worse (It’s not all that bad—I’m saving that discussion for another day). The most striking thing is that nothing has to be refrigerated! –Perfect for food storage. It all comes in this large box with three cardboard tiers separating breakfast, lunch and dinner (and desserts mixed in). In case you can’t read they are color coded as well. It looks great in my pantry.


I laid out a whole day for you. I wanted you to see what it comprises. The bowls are full of veggies. So here is breakfast (muffin with a protein--egg) Snack is a fruit and milk. Lunch is freeze dried black bean soup, two servings of veggies and a fruit. Next snack 1 oz turkey and an apple. Dinner is a Nutrisystem entry, salad, veggie, fruit. Then in the middle at the back is a little desert bar.  (The five Diet Cokes in the picture our my own lovely addition)

I find myself always a bit hungry. I know that I need to get a grip on the portion control but seriously. I guess it is a major reality check. So in addition to the food they send you get to supplement with protein choices (dairy or meat), a little fat, fruit and lots of veggies. This diet actually reminds me of Weight Watchers with the portion sizes and the emphasis on fruits and veggies.

I also wanted you to get a good look at the food. I don’t think it looks much like the picture on the boxes.

Wish me luck—I’ve bought a month’s worth and I have to stick it out.

Led Zeppelin--Proof Positive of a Parallel Universe

A few years ago my life turned upside down and it never righted itself. It wasn’t as if something terrible happened, life just shook me up and made me take a good long look at myself. Reality turned out to be—my reality and not necessarily the reality of others close to me. It was good to realize this—humbling—but good.

I thought it was not big deal at the time, but looking back 6 or 7 years I can see that I entered a parallel universe.

How I know it's a parallel universe:

1. I started not caring if I was late. I had always been 5 minutes early to everything in my life--now I'm usually on time, but I've lost the ability (or will) to always be on time.

2. I moved from Bountiful, Utah to Holladay, Utah. Same state--different planet. (Although the people in both places are remarkably attractive.)

3. I started taking cello lessons. Which doesn't seem weird because I've always loved the cello, but playing the cello opened my mind and caused my left brain to communicate with my right brain.

3a. Unintended consequence: I started to write like crazy. The next thing I knew I’d written a book and had ideas for others.

3b. Unintended consequence: Writing filled up my brain and I no longer had room for other thoughts. For example: What time does my daughter’s ballet start? Was cub scouts today? Am I supposed to clean the bathroom? Am I supposed to be nice? What were you saying? What was I saying?

4. I stopped worrying what my house looked like when people dropped by. This was HUGE!

5. Dropped out of PTA.

6. Gained a remarkable amount of weight--(Thus the diet a month agenda).

7. Became a brunette after a lifetime of blond

8. Not as sure of myself--but a lot more relaxed.

9. Went to work.

10. Although the real reason I KNOW that I am in a parallel universe is that I can listen to Led Zeppelin without going bonkers. This may not sound big, but it is definitely the proof.

During my adolescent years I truly thought Led Zeppelin was evil. I'm not kidding, Evil (note capital E). Plain and simple—no debate—the worst thing ever. I couldn't listen to them for a minute without feeling really creepy and a little disturbed. My husband is a huge music guy and Led Zeppelin is his favorite. When we were dating he would try to trick me into listening to them and I always changed the radio or popped out the tape. Usually without even realizing it was Led Zeppelin, I just became irrationally annoyed with the music. I couldn't even stand an Eric Clapton song that even sounded remotely like Led.

I can now listen to Led Zeppelin. Sometimes I even enjoy it and I appreciate the artistry. (Even having the ability to write that sentence surprises me.) Proof positive that I am not in the plane of existence I was before. So you tell me, should I try to get back?

Fitness Is Fun To Do! Yee Haw!

I've had a few things that I've wanted to do for years--literally years and years in the sports and fitness field. I've decided this is the year! Are you with me? If you are, comment about what your want to do, then we can keep each other honest.

Eden's 2010 Fitness To Do List:

1.  I've lived in Utah all of my life and I have never been snowshoeing. Who wants to go--call me!

2.  I cannot do a lay-up in basketball. I've always wanted to. My husband has promised to help me--remind him.

3.  I want to hike Mount Olympus again. It has been years (probably 15). It is time, especially since I can walk straight up the mountainside from my front door.

4.  I don't want to be the last one to the top on our annual hike from Alta over to Brighton. I want to keep up with the 10 year olds and my incredibly nimble father (who is getting up there in years, but fitter than ever).

5.  I want to run a 5k.

6. Every Thanksgiving break we like to go to my uncle's ranch in Emery Utah. At that ranch there are two parts--there's a working part and then a hospitality part. As the crow flies they are  not too far apart, but if you use the roads it is about 5 miles. For years I have wanted to jog from one to the other--this is the year.

7. Beat my husband at tennis--He won last time.

Don't leave me hanging, tell me what you want to do.