Cheers to people who. . .

After leaving Weber County we entered beautiful Morgan County. Not big on population but big on beauty and charm.

Cheers to people who make deep fried ice cream that we ate at the East Canyon Resort. I think it must have been because we had been in the car for several hours and needed a break but this was a fun stop.

This dessert was ice cream, wrapped in a flour tortilla, deep fried and finally topped with cream and cherries (or strawberries if you'd rather). We ordered 2 for four of us and after we'd fought over who got the last bite we ordered two more. I am a little embarrassed by this--it wasn't the most refined or gourmet thing I've eaten, but I have to admit it was fun.


Yep, cheers to people who make "Silent Wind Chimes." Isn't that actually just a picture or maybe folk art--not to the folks at East Canyon Resort--there, they are wind chimes that have the audacity to not make a sound!

They were kind of pretty. (This picture does not do it justice though.)

Cheers to people who, put flowers next to RR tracks -- Morgan City, Utah

and put roads though mountains.

Weber County, and that spells CHEESE!

We did our summer family vacation this year in spring--May to be exact, to see our daughter graduate from college in NYC. So, I looked bleakly ahead to a summer without something special to look forward to and knew I had to come up with a plan. So, I thought and I thought and I thought and then EUREKA--I came up with a wonderful idea.  Visit every county in Utah. Doesn't that sound fun! I've always wanted to do that and now I had an excuse.

I presented the idea to my lovely husband and children and it went over about as well as a lead balloon. I forged ahead anyway and thought that I would just plan little outings and they could come if they wanted to. You know how I love an adventure solo or ensemble--especially if it involves driving and so I didn't get discouraged--No, not me!

A while back in some national magazine I read about an internationally recognized cheese maker in Utah with the company name Beehive Cheese, located in Uintah. Don't confuse Uintah City, which is in Weber County, with Unintah County, like I did. When I looked up the address for Beehive Cheese I was a little disappointed, I was hoping for a trip a bit further away, but then realized that it was only about 40 minutes from my house. Which is great in the long run, because now if I have a hankering for the cheese I can just hop up to Uintah for a fix. 

I was able to talk most of my family to go with me--you ask how?! I bribed them with award winning cheese and it worked! 

How can you pass up a marketing
ploy like this "Handcrafted Cheese and Curds!"

Well, we headed up to the mouth of Weber Canyon, just barely off of Highway 89 and gave it a try. Yum. Yum. Yum.  They've won both American Cheese Society awards (their Promontory Cheese won first place) and World Cheese Awards (the Full Moon cheese won a bronze medal in 2010).

We bought the Promontory, Promontory with Habanero and Ragin' Cajun squeaky cheese curds and they were all wonderful. They are extra creamy and buttery, which I guess is part of their process. They explain it all on the website.

The store inside was tiny and the building itself was tucked away from the highway and behind several other buildings, but it was well stocked and we left a little poorer and a little heavier.

There's No Place Like Vegas!

As you already know two of my daughters and I went to Vegas last weekend for the Vegas Valley Book Festival. It was an eye opener for me, because the Festival was downtown--which is so much different from the Strip. I can sum up what we saw in one word --kitsch! Kitsch, kitsch everywhere--there is nothing more beautiful than kitsch against a bright blue sky.

Where else in the world can you see a red pumps floating in the sky that have the added benefit of glowing at night.

Or,  star spangled bikini women against a backdrop of a patriotic parking garage.

Or, bare bones casinos that advertise everything they've got.  Coffee Shop--CHECK, Bar--CHECK, Gambling--CHECK, and what else, Free Parking of course.

We ate at The Beat coffee house. The food was okay, but the atmosphere was very hip. My husband would have loved their record collection.

We also ventured out of downtown and off the Strip to the Komex restaurant for dinner. Yes, you know Komex food, it's everywhere. Everyone loves their Korean Mexican fusion restaurants. We all had the Bulgogi Burrito which is a type of Korean Barbecue style meat (in our case beef) in a classic Mexican style burrito.  It was super yum--on my scale of yum, super yum is the yummiest. I wish I had been brave enough to order the kim chee with it.

Every restaurant has to have Chinese placemats with their chips, salsa and guacamole.

Vegas makes multicultural work baby!!!

What's for lunch and Sunday dinner? & 2 days left to win an Everneath ARC!

To all you Everneath ARC hopefuls just today and tomorrow until midnight to enter!  The clock is tick, tick, ticking away.

Now on to Grandma Florence's cookbook!.

September begins in my grandmother's cookbook with a discussion of the school year looming in front of all those homemakers and what to make for those pesky lunch boxes.

"Nine months of lunches lie ahead--lunches to be carried to school! These lunches must contain all the nourishment of a good home 'sit down at the table' lunch.'" 

My sit down at the table lunches this summer have been mac and cheese, hot pockets and noodles prepared by my own dear children--so I am actually hoping school lunch is a bit more nutritious. In my defense I do supply fruit for them to snack on too--will that save me in the motherhood department!?  Will I still have nutrition services knocking at my door?

I love her suggestions--but if you are going make these sandwiches make sure you buy a meat grinder--because it is used alarmingly often:

Big Boy Sandwich:  Rye bread, butter, Swiss cheese, chopped mustard pickle.
Mock Ham Sandwich: Ground bologna, mixed with sweet relish and mayonnaise.
Meat Loaf Sandwich: Hamburger roll, meat loaf, sliced dill pickle, lettuce
Peppy Sandwich: (Don't you just love that name!) Whole wheat bread. Add 1/3 cup evaporated milk to 2/3 cup soft yellow cheese, cream well.  Add 1 cup shredded dried beef, 2 tablespoons drained horseradish. Makes 6 large sandwiches. (Where do I buy dried beef? Is it just beef jerky? Oh the mystery.)
Salad Sandwich: Whole wheat bread, grind 1/2 pound of bologna or cooked ham and 3 hard-cooked eggs, mix with 2 T chopped pimento, 1/2 cup drained sweet relish, 1/2 cup salad dressing. Makes 6 sandwiches.
Irish Sandwich: Put through meat grinder 1 1/2 cup corned beef, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 slice day old bread, 5 sweet pickles and mix with 2/3 cup salad dressing and 1/4 cup dry mustard, pepper, 1/4 cup shopped ripe olives, and about 1/4 cup salad dressing (I think that is Miracle Whip).
Deviled egg sandwich:  Whole wheat bread. Mix together 6 chopped hard-cooked eggs, 1 teaspoon grated onion, salt, pepper and about 1/4 cup salad dressing.
Ham and Peanut sandwich: Grind 1/2 pound of ham or bologna, add 1/4 cup finely chopped salted peanuts, 3 T drained sweet relish, about 1/2 cup salad dressing. (Ham and peanut, who would have thunk it.)
Beanie Sandwich:  Whole wheat bread, try mixing drained cooked navy beans, ground ham, grated raw carrots and salad dressing.

Although I find these recipes intriguing and kind of want to try them, (the same way I want to try nachos at the movie theater--did that sound snobby and rude?) the one thing the sandwich creations have in common is--my kids would not eat a single one of them! (Well, maybe my older kids would eat the Deviled Egg Sandwich, maybe.)

Later in the same chapter grandma moves onto safer ground--event meals, but most specifically, Sunday Dinners.  I found the recipe below old fashiony yummy!

Pork Chops on Rice

6 loin or rib pork chops cut 1 inch think (I just used the Costco boneless pork chops--I just love them!)
1 T fat
1 t salt
1/2 t pepper
1 cup rice (okay so I did 2 because my family loves rice)
1/2 cup raisins (I used dried cherries--family still inexplicably hates raisins)
3 cups water (6 if you double the rice)
3 bouillon cubes (I did 5 for doubling --in the future I would only do half of the bouillon, it was too salty)
Dash of nutmeg
1 1/2 cups milk (3 if you double the rice)


Brown the chops in the fat, seasoning with salt and pepper.

The meat would have been prettier if I had just browned it a bit longer!

I wanted to make this a one pot meal so I used a pan I could put in the oven and wiped it out after browning the chops to prepare for the rice.

Add the rice to the water and bouillon cubes.

Bring to boil and stir, cover tightly, and simmer about 15 minutes or until rice is tender and water is absorbed.

Add nutmeg and raisins (dried cherries)

Add milk, and season to taste.  

Pour into baking dish--In my case I just kept using the same pan.  Place seasoned chops on rice mixture.

Cover tightly and bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes.  Uncover and continue baking for about 15 minutes.

I let the meat rest for a minute and then sliced the pork to serve. You could serve the pork chops whole--they were very tender. This was an old fashioned dinner, but quite yummy. It was also definitely a guilty pleasure meal because the rice was creamy and trending towards mushy--but good mushy (if you can imagine that).

I loved the dried cherries, but I think the raisins would have been better. The sweetness of the fruit added a nice counterpoint to the salty rice (a little too salty--I will take out one of the bouillon cubes when I cook this int the future).  I paired it with broccoli and butter braised figs. Everyone loved the dinner.

By the way what was your favorite lunch to lug to school?

Who knew Hickory Burgers would give me a feminist crisis!

Cooking these burgers sent me into a feminist crisis. I grew up a no holds barred feminist--a product of the Seventies. My father actually gave me Gloria Steinem books to read. I went to college fully intending to mix family and work, but I turned out to have a very conventional mother/housewife life. For almost 2 decades I turned out to be a feminist in thought more than deed.

My grandmother as I have said was quite amazing, she taught at the University of Utah, wrote articles and wrote a book. She was on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Young Women General Board for decades. She traveled with the church extensively throughout the world, so I asked my mom how she did it. My mom told me that all their dinners were prepared ahead of time and frozen and that Grandma did most of the housework. On Saturday mornings everyone worked, but they did different things. I say she was pretty liberated in deeds, but I am not sure about thoughts. Her book is full of advice for women taking care of families and the importance of that role.

I went to work several years ago, when my youngest was 9. I kind-of always knew I would be the kind that would want to work outside the home. The only way I can describe myself when I am home all day is lethargic--I stretch out the most mundane tasks to take all day and end up feeling like I never get anything done. I don't like housework and I wasn't disciplined enough to get it done and then go on to other things. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother and I am really grateful that I was able to stay home with my kids while they were toddlers. I am also grateful that most days I am off by three and can be home when my kids get home from school.

When I went to work my husband got everyone to do their own laundry, but other than that I am still mostly in charge of the house and cooking. We all clean up after dinner and everyone helps clean the house on Saturday, but if I want the bed made or our bedroom cleaned, I do it. I work 30 hours a week and my husband works 40-50 hours a week--it makes sense that I do most of the housework. Is it a gender role?--probably. Although I have no problem asking for help and I make my children do all the same chores regardless of gender.

I am going to take you back in time (insert wavy lines here emphasizing time travel) where men are men and women are there to prepare things for men--yes, back to the 1960's. This time travel brought to you by a section in my grandmother's cookbook labeled "Barbecuing--A Man's Delight:," note the italics added by me:

"A man loves an informal party, especially an outside barbecue, calling for no tie, sport shirt, slacks, and soft shoes.  It isn't just the comfortable clothes that sell the barbecue idea to him, but outdoor cooking is man's cooking.  He is king, and the food has a zest. It's fun, as a guest, to watch dinner in preparation,and as an added dividend here is the wonderful fragrance of tangy sauces, of charcoal, and of sputtering meat.  The following are recipes he will enjoy preparing. As a wife, see that all ingredients are handy and that there is a big apron to cover the expanse of him, and then stop hovering, walk away, and be the happy hostess."

I totally love that big apron line to cover the "expanse of him!"

In today's world, where many of the lines are blurred between gender roles, I find it really interesting that not that long ago there was such certainty in who does what and why. Grandma makes statements that are quite funny to read today and she said them without a hint of irony. There was no hedging--this is what he does and this is what she does. In some ways in a world where we don't really have to accept any limits or roles this certainty seems confining, but also just a little comforting to know exactly what is expected. I don't know--I think it's better to negotiate in a family and come to a conclusion that is fair to everyone.

Anyway, all I really wanted to write about was burgers!

Hickory Burgers

1/3 c catsup
1/2 c finely chopped onion
1 t salt
1/2 t pepper
4 soda crackers, finely crumbled (I put mine in a sandwhich bag and rolled over it with a rolling pin.)
8 slices Cheddar cheese
Hickory Salt (I couldn't find a hickory salt so I used McCormick Grill Mates Mesquite)

2  pounds ground beef

2  eggs

Combine all ingredients except cheese. Mix well. (Isn't all that raw hamburger appetizing?)  I ended up having to use my mega spoon and then fingers!

Form 16 thin patties.  Place the cheese slices on half the patties; completely cover with the second pattie.  Seal edges well. Sprinkle with hickory salt (Mesquite), grill. (I had to broil mine due to weather issues.)

Serve on toasted buns with sliced tomatoes and sliced dill pickles.

This is a really flavorful hamburger and putting cheese in the middle made it quite moist. The only problem was I couldn't really taste the cheese--which I like to do on a cheeseburger.  I think because of the mesquite salt, it ended tasting a bit like a sausage burger, which was really quite yummy.  The hickory salt added a smoked flavor that I liked, but I think I would like this better as meatloaf rather than a hamburger.

The kids and husband gave it a thumbs up though and would eat it again.

Vegetable Salad Dressing

I have learned one thing from cooking my grandmother's recipes: We cook much differently now. Based on this conclusion I  have to reiterate my disclaimer--Cook at your own risk. I love the bread recipe, but without additives like lecithin etc., it is tempermental. It is just a little trickier cooking recipes that are over 50 years old, but it is like a little history lesson. I think it's fun.

Here is my grandmother's advice for summer cooking:

"You will notice that almost every menu is an oven dinner and in each case the dishes may be prepared ready for the oven in the morning and set in the refrigerator until time to bake before dinner in the evening.  All the fuss and mess can be over early in the day. Organization is all it takes to discover extra time in which to read!"

I like that advice--anything that gives me more time to read. Hey, here's a thought, order in pizza--that gives a lot of time to read!

Today's recipe is an illustration on the difference in cooking styles.  I enjoyed this mayo based salad dressing, but it seemed very old fashioned to my kids and I could barely get them to try it. It is quite yummy though and I thought it was a great change of pace from vinegar and oil dressings. I will make this again, but it probably won't be my go to for salad dressing.

Vegetable Salad Dressing

1 cup mayonnaise

1 T lemon juice

1 t sugar

1/2 green pepper chopped fine

3 T finely chopped green onion

1/2 cup finely chopped, well-drained cucumber (I put this in a colander and let it sit, but it didn't drain much)

1/4 cup finely chopped radishes

1 t horseradish (I sadly had to omit this at my house because I am the only one who loves horseradish!)

Salt to taste (I added pepper, because I love pepper)

1 head iceberg lettuce cut in wedges

Combine all ingredients and chill.

Serve over lettuce wedges.

Back to Food! Best Whole Wheat Bread

I have several people comment on my Planet of the Apes post. (They were not entirely positive if you know what I mean!) I know I shouldn't have summarized all of the Planet of the Apes movies--but I just couldn't help it! I keep talking about them to people and I just see their eyes glaze over. The extreme and utter badness of those movies has caught my imagination like nothing else.  They are a testament that a concept can perpetuate itself and people will actually write scripts, produce and yes, years and years later pay to see. It is beyond comprehension. So I apologize for the previous post--but I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!!!

So, due to popular demand, back to the food--and comfort food at that.

My grandmother made wonderful breads. I remember when we came for dinner that her house was filled with the smell of bread baking.

The recipe that follows is one of my favorites and is also a standby of mine.  I use it when I want fresh yeast bread that doesn't take forever or require special ingredients. It is consistent and yummy--but also basic. It only requires one rising which is also fantastic.

I like her thought about baking bread from her book, "Years ago I remember hearing a sweet little elderly woman say she always offered up a prayer as she kneaded her dough so that the bread would be good, and the materials she was using would not be wast3ed. Those were pioneer days when every grain of wheat was precious, but it still is a good idea today."

There is something magical about making yeast breads. You take disparate and the most ordinary ingredients; flour, water, yeast and at a point (during the kneading) it becomes something entirely new and extraordinary. it becomes a warm, smooth,  silky beautifully malleable mound.

Best Whole Wheat Bread

1 yeast cake (2 1/4 t. dry granular yeast)
1/3 c lukewarm water
1 T shortening
1 T honey
1 T molasses
3 c milk, scalded (scalding is unnecessary--see below)
6 cups whole wheat flour
1 T salt

Soften yeast in lukewarm water.

Melt shortening and combine with honey, molasses salt, and scalded milk. I heat the milk--scalding used to be necessary to kill potentially harmful bacteria in milk and destroy enzymes that keep milk from thickening in recipes. Pasteurization accomplishes this for us these days--some people still like to used unpasteurized milk so scald away if you do.)

I just melt the shortening in the
warm milk.

Cool to lukewarm and combine with the yeast mixture. (Another great thing about not having to scald the milk is that with only warmed milk you don't have to wait for cooling.)

Wet and dry ingredients before mixing.

Add enough flour to make a soft dough and knead it thoroughly (for at least 10 minutes), use extra flour if needed.

Here is where the magic happens!

Shape into 2 loaves and place in well-greased loaf pans. (I coat pans with a vegetable spray.)  Let rise to not quite double in bulk (about 2 hours); whole wheat dough sours if allowed to rise too long.

Bake at 350 degrees F. for 1 hour and 10 minutes or until well done. (My oven  bakes this much faster--the bread baked in about 50 minutes--so watch the oven! I tested it when the top looked golden brown by taking it out of the pan and tapping it on the bottom--if it sounds hollow the moisture is baked out and it is finished. You could use an instant read thermometer and if it is 200 degrees F. it is finished.)

The bread freezes well. When it is cold just wrap it up in aluminum foil and place in a plastic bag.  (I found that with this basic bread it is best eaten fresh. I thought it was a little dry and crumbly after freezing.)

For a change of pace try this recipe using shredded wheat as part of the flour. (I must say I have not even thought of doing this. If I am ever brave enough to try I will definitely let you know the results.)

What to make after 18 inches of snow? Chili Con Carne!

Yesterday I woke up to 18 inches of snow. Winter obviously does not want to release its icy grip and so I needed some comfort food. I decided it was time to share with you the recipe I cook the very most from my grandma's cookbook.  It is "Best Ever Chili." I love it because it is easy, yummy and just a little different than other chili recipes.
But first, earlier in the cookbook she gives a recipe for chili con carne. Here is exactly what the recipe title looks like--Chile Con Carne (with corn bread--serves 6). There is a great recipe for the corn bread that is cooked using "corn-stick" pans. (I had to look this up -- see the picture to the left.) But this is not the funny thing--then she just says open a can of chili and spoon it over the corn sticks. Homemade bread--canned chili! That is the contradiction of this book -- some of the recipes are quite difficult and extra yummy and they sit side by side all sorts of convenience recipes. Nice to know that we may all have our little inconsistencies and so we should just celebrate them. Go canned chili!

Below is her great and from scratch recipe for chili.


Best Ever Chili

3 c chili beans (These are the dried variety set to soak overnight. You may of course use canned chili beans they are certainly easier and often have better texture. I went to the internet for this conversion--3 cups of dry chili beans = 9 cups of beans after soaking and boiling. There are 1.5 cups beans per 15 ounce can. So you would need 6--15 ounce cans. Is that clear or just more cloudy? I have a link on how to hydrate beans below in the directions.)
2 bay leaves
2 pounds ground beef
4 onions, chopped
1 bud garlic, minced (I use at least 4)
1 quart canned tomatoes
1 T chili powder
1 T cumin
1 T salt
***1/2 t curry powder (You may think this is weird, but it makes the chili. Although when I make this I usually only use 1/4 t curry powder and I think it is just enough of the flavor without saying --oh my heck this chili has curry powder in it!)
Cayenne pepper to taste


Wash chili beans, put in kettle (isn't that just cute "kettle!") with 6 cups water and the bay leaves. Boil until tender.  (Here is a link on the process if you need a little help like I do: "Preparing Dried Beans" The link says to use 3 times the water, so it would be 9 cups of water not 6.)

Boiled beans and the rest before mixing.

Fry meat, onions, and garlic until brown. Add to drained beans with remaining ingredients. Simmer for about an hour.

All mixed and after an hour of simmering -- Yum.

With all the fixings and ready to eat. Nothing better on a cold and snowy day.

In a culinary rut? Try salad burgers!

My grandma's cookbook, Of Food and Thought, begins with January. The sub-headings are "Think Up New Project," "Wheat for Man," "Fun to Get Up in the Morning," "Let's Turn Over a New Leaf," "There is a Silver Lining," and "Quicker by the Dozen."

I've thought up a new project (borrowing heavily from grandma). Check! I made wheat for man--which I will share with you another day. Check!   I never find it fun to get up. No Check!  I've turned over a new leaf and found dirt below (I guess I need to start digging).  Check!  I'm looking for the silver lining but let's just leave it at that--after all nothing really is shiny in an inversion. No Check!  I am looking and I have yet to crack the code of quicker by the dozen.  Maybe in February. No Check!   This paragraph is a little depressing--sorry--I find the cookbook inspiring, tender, and most of all, intimidating.

Here's a sample of how I feel inadequate from January's chapter:

"Fun and nourishing lunch bag ideas:

1.  Chopped meat turn-overs in place of sandwiches
2.  Chopped peanuts added to ground ham and salad dressing for a nourishing sandwich filling.
3.  Dates stuffed with creamed cheese.
4.  Graham crackers put together with creamed cheese.
5.  Dried fruit, dampened and rolled in powdered sugar.
6.  Corned beef sandwich. Break the corned beef into pieces and combine with pickle relish, prepared mustard, and mayonnaise.  Season to taste and spread on rye bread.
7.  Spiced apple cider or apple juice--good with ham on rye.
8.  Thinly slice the top of hamburger buns.  Scoop out the center, butter, toast lightly.  Fill with egg salad and sprinkle with minced chives. Cover with top of bun.
9.  Sandwich made with three parts salted peanuts and 1 part carrot put through the grinder. Spread on graham bread. (What is graham bread?)
10. Scoop out the core of an apple and fill with chopped raisins."

Did I mention this cookbook came out in 1965? Before the feminist revolution!  Lunch at my house is make your own or eat at school.

For January grandma has 36 recipes.  This does not include the 40 or so mini recipes she throws in like the ones above or a fun new idea for supper--"Pancakes can be used for dinner as well as for breakfast.  Try them some night with creamed salmon over them and a crisp salad on the side." Somethings are better left untried! She has lists to liven up breakfast and after school snacks. I have to admit she is a little bit daunting. Breakfast at my house (similar to my lunch philosophy) is peanut butter toast or cereal, period--where my motto is everyone fends for themselves. 

 I remember thinking when my twins were about two and poked their darling heads up next to my bed at 6AM every single morning saying, "I want to eat," that I could not wait to teach them how to pour milk. Which I did as soon as they were strong enough to hold a one gallon milk jug. I am often, a do the simplest thing kind of woman, not the make anything extra type. So, reading my grandma's book is good for me! Right? 

So I studied the recipes to find one outside my comfort zone, as well as my family's, and had a brilliant idea, Salad Burgers!

Grandma said, "High protein salads contain eggs, meat, fish, cheese, or gelatin and may become the piece de resistance of the meal."

Salad Burgers

Makes 10 rolls

1/4 lb grated cheese

3 sliced hard-cooked eggs

1 can tuna

2 T chopped green pepper

2 T chopped onion

2 T chopped stuffed olives

2 T chopped sweet pickles (my family would have revolted at this so I used dill)

1/2 c mayonnaise

(I love ingredient pictures, I just think each individual food is so beautiful, just by itself!)

Mix all the ingredients.

Cut 10 wiener rolls (hot dog buns for those of us who don't like saying the word wiener).

Spread salad on rolls.

 Wrap each roll in aluminum foil and bake for 30 minutes in a 250 degree F oven.

That's a lot of foil. 

Unwrap and eat.

Now for my turn--I think this could actually be good, but no one in my family  liked them because the buns got soggy! Yuck! Even I, who can for all intents and purposes eat anything--seriously anything (except cow liver), did not like this. I got about 3/4th the way through one. I made my son try it and he gagged--yes it's true, but he also gags on yummy food so I'm not sure it's a definitive judgement. 


Honestly, forget the tin foil. Toast the buns, put on the spread, then broil. It would make a yummy and festive tuna melt--If you like that sort of thing.

Poor Man's Fruit Cake - The fruit cake that brought me to tears (actually to weeping)!

I saved "Poor Man's Fruit Cake" for January with two reasons in mind. First, how fitting is that a fruit cake for January is called Poor Man's. Second, by the end of December I was really tired!!! So, I thought I'll do it the first week of January, then the second and so on and so on. Here we are the last day of January and I finally finished my fruit cake odyssey.

Everything was going really well. It was an easy recipe and since it had no candied fruit in it I thought it had a good chance of being my favorite. So yesterday, Sunday afternoon, my family wanted to go for a little ride to get out of the gloomy inversion, but I had to stay home because the recipe calls for 1 1/2 hours of baking. I put two loaves in the oven--one was a little over full so I knew to watch them because they would finish at different times. I was being extra careful because I wanted to give one to my Dad for his birthday that day--he just loves fruit cake. The first loaf finishes--and I thought--c'est magnifique! I had created a beautiful, golden brown, shiny fruit cake. It had little scalloped edges from the pan it was baked in--it was a cutie patootie!  I knew the second one would not be as beautiful--it was a little bloated on top and wouldn't have that perfect curve that is so important in quick breads. I also thought it might get a little too brown before it finished baking inside. Not to worry I at least had one perfect loaf to give!

I take it out of the pan to cool and go into my bedroom to rest for 10 minutes (who wouldn't need to rest after plumping raisins etc!). My family arrives home and I hear them talking happily in the kitchen. I ignore my exhaustion and go to greet them.  They were huddled around the carcass of my beautiful fruit cake as they ate and hacked at it. Not a slice or plate in sight, just eating where they stood. They looked at me and said something like, "slurp, slurp, gobble, gobble, yum, smack, lick."

My baby--they were eating my baby. They looked like dingos eating my baby! I exploded and started to weep. This is not an exaggeration--I was weeping over my little perfect cake--for about a half an hour. I tried to explain to myself and them why, I stuttered, "I stayed home to make this, It was for my aged father, Didn't you see how perfect it was? I take pictures of my food now before we eat it you know! Who eats like this--what are you savages?" They looked at me like I was from outer space and vacated the kitchen. I then took the carcass and was able to slice up half of it and take a picture for the blog. Alas, my father had to make due with the slightly bloated, a little too brown, excuse for a fruit cake that then emerged from the oven.

Once you weep over a fruit cake you really have had the complete fruit cake experience and probably shouldn't make any more for at least another 11 months.

Here's what my grandmother says about "Poor Man's Fruit Cake." "When you make such a rich cake, it is always good to make a poor man's cake for the children to enjoy during the holidays."

This cake is much healthier than the others - with less fat and sugar. It has a ton of raisins and currants and some nuts. It is yummy though and also a much easier recipe.

It has one funny ingredient 2 teaspoons of cocoa, and I honestly think it is just to give it a darker color so it looks richer than it is! Although I do think the cocoa does add a bit to the flavor profile.

Poor Man's Fruit Cake

1 cup seedless raising
1 package currants (still don't know exact amount, I found a box at the supermarket and used that.)
3 cups water
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup butter (grandma calls for shortening, but I hate shortening and only use it if I'm scared butter won't give the right texture after baking.  Butter just tastes so much better to me and it worked great in this recipe.)

Put all ingredients in a sauce pan and cook for 15 minutes.  Cool to lukewarm.
This was really yummy smelling! Can't you just smell it -- buttery, sugary, plumpy raisins.

4 c sifted flour (remember I never sift)
1 t salt
2 t cinnamon
2 t nutmeg
2 t cocoa
1 1/2 t soda
1 t boiling water
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup broken walnuts

(A lot less ingredients than the previous cakes) 

Beat the eggs well, add the soda that has been dissolved in the 1 teaspoon boiling water. (Still don't know why we put the soda in boiling water.) Fold in the sifted dry ingredients alternately with the cooked fruit and liquid.  (I just poured the dry ingredients over the wet and folded away).  Fold in the walnuts.

Line the pans with waxed paper and grease them well. (I just greased my pans and it came out fine--it was a risk though.) Bake in 300 degrees F. oven for about an hour and a half. Place pan of a water on lower shelf of oven while baking the cake.  This amount will make 2 regular sized loaf pans and one small one. (For some reason I totally missed putting water on lower shelf and the part about it making a 3rd smaller loaf. I better start reading through the recipes better. No wonder my second loaf was bloated!)


Here are the 4 and 1/2 slices I had left after the vultures vacated the kitchen. If you like raisins it is very YUM!

Hostess Fruit Cake -- The low of the season!

You make think that I've exhausted the whole fruitcake angle, but no, I have not! At a white elephant party last week I actually stole this 1 pound Hostess Fruitcake.

I stole it for several reasons:

1. I had never seen one before.

2. I currently have a strange and not altogether healthy obsession with fruit cake.

3. It was small 8 x 2 inches but quite dense at a pound.

4. I have enjoyed many a Hostess treat in the past.

5. I LOOKED AT THE NUTRITIONAL LABEL

I know it is unreadable here but here's the list:

1. 420 Calories per serving

2. 4 serving per package.

3. So every 2 inches has 420 calories for a whopping 1680 calories per package.

4. 72 g carbohydrates per serving

5. 12 g of fat per serving

6.  It says it expires on Feb 15, but doesn't give a year -- highly suspicious.

It sounds like that white paste stuff that you put in a 72 hour kit to keep you alive while help is on the way.

Well I ate a small bite.

A very small bite -- see that little bit gone from the bottom right hand corner. It was the worst thing I have ever tasted and I am an equal opportunity food eater--I'll try anything! It took a Coke Zero and a Tab to erase the taste. Too bad I don't have the ability to erase the memory. Was that too harsh?

(I have nothing against Hostess personally--but stick to Hostess Cupcakes!!)

Hints for the Perfect Fruit Cake

The other day, as I lugged a very heavy bag of fruit cakes into my book club, I wondered why I had just spent 4 hours the previous night making something that I knew most of the people would not like one bit. It gave me no small measure of perverse joy. I'm not sure what that says about me. I was NOT disappointed, however, when I received more than a few positive reviews. Maybe I can help preserve the taste buds for fruit cake for one more generation. It is a large mission but one I take up humbly.

I have found that for me it has become an acquired taste--just like my Aunt Dorothy's brew she made in the bath-tub and I was the only one with a sophisticated enough palate to enjoy. Yum! Those  were the days. Anyway, back to fruit cake, honestly I have found that I'm craving it.

So while I have taken a few days break from making fruit cake I thought I would still keep your appetites whetted by what my grandma suggested from her book. This should be your map to the fruit cake universe.

Grandma’s Christmas Cake Suggestions

Of Food and Thought, Page 375

*Don’t dry out fruit cake by over baking.

*Remember most fruit cakes are worth their weight in gold so follow directions carefully.

*Don’t skimp on ingredients—if you want to save, just make smaller recipes.

*Cool fruit cake in pan, and be sure it is cold before wrapping.

*Store fruit cake in foil or in air-tight container. Keep in cool place.

*Fruit cakes improve on storing; flavors blend and become more delicious.

*If fruit cakes are wrapped in cloth dipped in fruit juice, be sure the cakes are kept cool so mold does not form.

*Chill fruit cake before slicing, and the slices will be thin and perfect.

*Any of these cakes may be baked as cookies, if a little more flour is added.

*Try serving hot wassail and cheese with thin slices of fruit cake.

*Fruit cake crumbs are good sprinkled over ice cream.

*Fresh-colored gumdrops may be cut thin and take the place of candied fruit in fruit cake cookies.

*For New Year’s Eve garnish large silver platter of fruit cake with real sprays of holly.

I had to bold the information about mold--it is important--mold is bad. No moldy fruitcakes is my motto.

So then I thought--Hey I have some suggestions too:

*If you give fruit cake to anyone over 60 they will love you! It will bring back memories of their childhood and you will have fans!

*Fruit cake is heavy and is great for arm strength.

*Fruit cakes hold doors open really well.

*Fruit cakes seem like they are healthy, but really they are not, don't be fooled. You WILL GAIN weight if you eat too much. (My too tight jeans told me that this week!) And really, don't you want to get fat by eating uncontroversial yummy food like chocolate cake!

*Fruit cake is an expensive hobby.

*Be prepared for ridicule, here are some of the quotes I heard, "I didn't know anyone wanted to make fruit cake anymore." "My husband did not enjoy your fruit cake." I also heard a lot of guffaws and outright laughter when I handed people their heavy little package.

*Do not throw fruit cake--it will go through windows (Ours was caught before it actually hit the window, thank goodness.)

Please add your suggestions for fruit cake. It would be greatly appreciated.