Hearing Voices

I've been thinking about voices. I am the type of reader that once I find an author I enjoy I will read everything they've written just because I love the voice of the writer (without regard to quality). I am  like that with blog authors as well. The voice of some bloggers just resonate and I miss that when they don't post.

I've been nostalgic lately which is not really in my basic personality. I don't have many regrets and am always ready for the next thing in my life, but lately I've been looking back.

I went to the wedding of the daughter of a great friend. I used be a neighbor too and many of the wedding guests were dear friends. I saw parents of another great friend whom I had known since 7th grade. I went over to talk to them--the dad had been my Bishop as well as my Stake President and the mom had always been a lovely person in my life and I suddenly got really and embarrassingly teary! When I saw them I realized I just plain missed them.  I thought of how much they and their daughter had been a big part of my formative years and I felt lucky, but also sad that their voices were heard so little in my life.

In our house their are many sounds. My husband learning a new guitar song, my daughter playing hymns, my youngest daughter and son playing and fighting together. I love to hear my children practice their instruments, no matter how bad or good they sound. My daughter who is a flutist would practice for hours and I loved her warm-up scales and TOFU as much as concertos. (I am still not sure why we called it TOFU.)  There is a real beauty to learning music.

I also love the voices of my children; one of my most driven and focused daughters has a laugh filled voice, while another's voice is musical and gentle, one is a person of few words--but each word is either hilarious or insightful and often both. I have one daughter who often speaks in a monotone, but she has the most original thoughts of anyone I've ever known. My son's voice is energetic, negotiating and love filled. Anyway, I love their voices and when they are out of the house there is a real void.

This is the first summer I've spent without my twin daughters. One decided to serve a mission and is in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma and the other decided that she would like stay and work in NYC where she spends the rest of the year. (By the way, doesn't New York get enough of her--NY is very selfish!) When they are around they are non stop talkers so their voices are sorely missed.

The traveling twins.

Then their are other voices I miss. Those of people that have passed on. Every extended family gathering I really miss my grandmother and she's been gone for 22 years. She had a strong, true voice. I never met my husband's father, but I miss him too.

I've moved around a bit and had the opportunity to meet some really lovely people and some stay in my life and some just naturally drift away. Each one with their distinct personalities. Some friends were toxic and it was better to just let time and space create distance, but I miss them too.

Check out the Everneath Cover!

Gold star moment!!

I just had to put out a quick post for my sister-in-law Brodi Ashton. Her cover has just been revealed and it totally rocks!!  It's on the Page Turners blog.

Look for the book in January 2012. Check out her blog,  Brodi Ashton, in the meantime it is always worth reading. If you want to read an interview with Brodi and maybe win an ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) of her book check out these blogger's posts:  Cranberry Fries and (Windy) Like the Weather.

Go Brodi--Write on girl!

Vegetable Salad Dressing

I have learned one thing from cooking my grandmother's recipes: We cook much differently now. Based on this conclusion I  have to reiterate my disclaimer--Cook at your own risk. I love the bread recipe, but without additives like lecithin etc., it is tempermental. It is just a little trickier cooking recipes that are over 50 years old, but it is like a little history lesson. I think it's fun.

Here is my grandmother's advice for summer cooking:

"You will notice that almost every menu is an oven dinner and in each case the dishes may be prepared ready for the oven in the morning and set in the refrigerator until time to bake before dinner in the evening.  All the fuss and mess can be over early in the day. Organization is all it takes to discover extra time in which to read!"

I like that advice--anything that gives me more time to read. Hey, here's a thought, order in pizza--that gives a lot of time to read!

Today's recipe is an illustration on the difference in cooking styles.  I enjoyed this mayo based salad dressing, but it seemed very old fashioned to my kids and I could barely get them to try it. It is quite yummy though and I thought it was a great change of pace from vinegar and oil dressings. I will make this again, but it probably won't be my go to for salad dressing.

Vegetable Salad Dressing

1 cup mayonnaise

1 T lemon juice

1 t sugar

1/2 green pepper chopped fine

3 T finely chopped green onion

1/2 cup finely chopped, well-drained cucumber (I put this in a colander and let it sit, but it didn't drain much)

1/4 cup finely chopped radishes

1 t horseradish (I sadly had to omit this at my house because I am the only one who loves horseradish!)

Salt to taste (I added pepper, because I love pepper)

1 head iceberg lettuce cut in wedges

Combine all ingredients and chill.

Serve over lettuce wedges.

The Shamrock Plant

My sisters (both by birth and marriage) are remarkable. It has been a huge blessing in my life. They alway seem to know when to call and they also give thoughtful gifts on special occasions. I have to share one particular example--sister E gave me these purple Shamrocks on my birthday. I just had to take pictures of them with my new Mother's Day camera (thanks hubby).

This particular plant changes throughout the day as the light changes. I rotate it each day because it bends towards the light like sunbathers at the beach. I have it at work so I can stare at it all day. It is even forgiving--one weekend I forgot to water it before I left and all the stems were completely wilted--but after a good dousing and a couple of days it was back to its present glory!

I've put a photo stream of this plant on the blog, just so I can enjoy it wherever I go.

Notice the fluorescent light reflection
in the window!

Back to Food! Best Whole Wheat Bread

I have several people comment on my Planet of the Apes post. (They were not entirely positive if you know what I mean!) I know I shouldn't have summarized all of the Planet of the Apes movies--but I just couldn't help it! I keep talking about them to people and I just see their eyes glaze over. The extreme and utter badness of those movies has caught my imagination like nothing else.  They are a testament that a concept can perpetuate itself and people will actually write scripts, produce and yes, years and years later pay to see. It is beyond comprehension. So I apologize for the previous post--but I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!!!

So, due to popular demand, back to the food--and comfort food at that.

My grandmother made wonderful breads. I remember when we came for dinner that her house was filled with the smell of bread baking.

The recipe that follows is one of my favorites and is also a standby of mine.  I use it when I want fresh yeast bread that doesn't take forever or require special ingredients. It is consistent and yummy--but also basic. It only requires one rising which is also fantastic.

I like her thought about baking bread from her book, "Years ago I remember hearing a sweet little elderly woman say she always offered up a prayer as she kneaded her dough so that the bread would be good, and the materials she was using would not be wast3ed. Those were pioneer days when every grain of wheat was precious, but it still is a good idea today."

There is something magical about making yeast breads. You take disparate and the most ordinary ingredients; flour, water, yeast and at a point (during the kneading) it becomes something entirely new and extraordinary. it becomes a warm, smooth,  silky beautifully malleable mound.

Best Whole Wheat Bread

1 yeast cake (2 1/4 t. dry granular yeast)
1/3 c lukewarm water
1 T shortening
1 T honey
1 T molasses
3 c milk, scalded (scalding is unnecessary--see below)
6 cups whole wheat flour
1 T salt

Soften yeast in lukewarm water.

Melt shortening and combine with honey, molasses salt, and scalded milk. I heat the milk--scalding used to be necessary to kill potentially harmful bacteria in milk and destroy enzymes that keep milk from thickening in recipes. Pasteurization accomplishes this for us these days--some people still like to used unpasteurized milk so scald away if you do.)

I just melt the shortening in the
warm milk.

Cool to lukewarm and combine with the yeast mixture. (Another great thing about not having to scald the milk is that with only warmed milk you don't have to wait for cooling.)

Wet and dry ingredients before mixing.

Add enough flour to make a soft dough and knead it thoroughly (for at least 10 minutes), use extra flour if needed.

Here is where the magic happens!

Shape into 2 loaves and place in well-greased loaf pans. (I coat pans with a vegetable spray.)  Let rise to not quite double in bulk (about 2 hours); whole wheat dough sours if allowed to rise too long.

Bake at 350 degrees F. for 1 hour and 10 minutes or until well done. (My oven  bakes this much faster--the bread baked in about 50 minutes--so watch the oven! I tested it when the top looked golden brown by taking it out of the pan and tapping it on the bottom--if it sounds hollow the moisture is baked out and it is finished. You could use an instant read thermometer and if it is 200 degrees F. it is finished.)

The bread freezes well. When it is cold just wrap it up in aluminum foil and place in a plastic bag.  (I found that with this basic bread it is best eaten fresh. I thought it was a little dry and crumbly after freezing.)

For a change of pace try this recipe using shredded wheat as part of the flour. (I must say I have not even thought of doing this. If I am ever brave enough to try I will definitely let you know the results.)

Proof of Lack of Ambition - Planet of the Apes Marathon

I used to be ambitious.

Yes, I could end the post here because well, I used to be ambitious.

But, even though I lack ambition I do still like to talk and write excessively and therefore need to illustrate the point.

I went to my 20 year high school reunion a few years ago (okay more than a few). I had several people tell me that they thought I would be doing more or at least doing something. (Because having 5 kids really isn't doing anything--that's for sure.) Not in so many words and stated much more kindly but that was the jist. That is what happens when you reach your worldly peak at 18. I was, after all, voted by my high school peers to be the most likely to become President of these here United States. (It could have been most likely to succeed. I can't remember--Heather was the other one so she could let me know.) I was a high school peaker. Although I peaked there as far as outward appearances, I feel like I blossomed in college. I loved the anonymity of it and oh my, the learnin', I loved that. It turned out that I liked solitary pursuits better than public ones. Anyway, this paragraph ends the justification for my lack of ambition.

But here's the proof.

I had the best Spring Break of my life this year. We had a stay-cation. Dan and I had to work until Wednesday so the stay-cation started out slowly. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday each child still at home picked a day to make us all do anything they wanted. However, the festivities began on Tuesday with a serendipitous discovery.

Tuesday


In the evening we found a treasure trove on cable that we just had to record on our DVR. A marathon of  Planet of the Apes and all of its sequels! Who needs California when we have a DVR. We unfortunately didn't catch the first two of the marathon so we happily started our marathon with #3. (We later bought 1 & 2 as well as the re-make! Not pathetic at all.) I'm not sure any of us really wanted to watch these movies, but when presented with such a rare opportunity who are we to say no. Who knew there were so many Ape movies?


Spoiler Alert:  Proceed with caution there are a lot of spoilers below!

Escape from Planet of the Apes
In the third movie, two of the Apes who were supposedly destroyed completely by Charlton Heston in #2 found a way to come back in time to human earth and are the toast of the town. The female ape is pregnant and someone thinks them smart apes procreating is a VERY BAD idea and they must be destroyed.

Wednesday

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Well they had procreated and left their child with Ricardo Montalban, a circus owner. The ape mom switched the little smart ape with the baby ape of another, less sentient, ape. Ricardo raises him in obscurity until the ape is discovered because he cannot stop talking.  He leads an ape revolt (because apes that can't talk are now servants to humans!! We could only hope!!)

Thursday 

Beginning of Staycation and our youngest child (an 11 year old) made all of the choices.

Skate Park

Picnic at said park

Skate Store

Rest while he played video games

Dinner

And

Battle for the Planet of the Apes

Battle for the Planet of the Apes - #5 is also extremely exciting. The apes have moved to the country because the cities are uninhabitable (humans used nuclear weapons to try an eradicate the apes).

The apes now have human servants. Humans have proven to be inferior to apes because they are soooo violent and will kill each other on a whim. The leader from the previous movie is back and he wants to find out more about his parents and goes back to the city -- where surprise surprise there are mutant humans who want to kill them!  The apes win again, but decide they must treat the humans as equals. Hurrah!!!

Friday


Youngest girl (14) makes all the choices:

Shopping

Shopping

Lunch at Cafe Rio

Quick rest at home

Ice Skating

Lovely walk on Jordan River Parkway

Dinner

And


Planet of the Apes 

The movie that started it all. It is much better than the sequels by the way. There is an awful lot of skin shown by Charlton Heston and his mute and not so smart girlfriend, Nova. Charlton is sent on space ship, in stasis, for space exploration. They crash land on this strange planet that is ruled by apes and humans are rounded up like, gasp, animals. He shows them he can write and talk which proves to be a big problem for their ape religion. Eventually he escapes and finds out that he has been on earth all along -- big reveal -- he comes upon the Statue of Liberty embedded in sand.

Saturday 

Oldest at home, girl  (17) makes all of the choices:

Sleep in (she is, after all, 17)

Eat lunch at Joseph Smith Memorial Building (There was a boiler room furnace smoke scare and we had to be evacuated by very alarmed elderly people - only to be let in 10 minutes later as the crisis was over -- very exciting.)

Go to Temple for baptisms (who knew there would be a run on the temple and we were there 4 hours)

Youngest Child and I had a grand time seeing every movie etc at visitors center

Rest (we always have to rest)

And

Beneath the Planet of the Apes

I know I am having way too much fun and I cannot even imagine anyone still reading this post, but here's my favorite.

Another astronaut crash lands on the planet. He also discovers that apes rule, he befriends Nova. When he escapes from the apes he finds an underground rail system that he discovers is the NY subway system--much angst ensues. Then he makes another surprising discovery -- there are mutant humans here too, who use telepathy to hurt others, trick the apes so they are not discovered and pray to a huge nuclear weapon. Yep, a huge nuclear weapon. He meets up with Charlton who remembers this weapon, from his own time, as one that could totally destroy the earth and its atmosphere. He must stop them from using it. The apes find the underground system and just as they are about to conquer the human's Charlton for no apparent reason detonates the weapon. Yes, we are left with the knowledge that no matter what, humans will try to annihilate the planet.


Sunday

Back to normal, except for an evening viewing of the re-make, Planet of the Apes 2001 style. The MARK WHALBURG version. First disappointed note--he keeps his astronaut clothes on the whole time!  I had to watch Charlton half naked--it just doesn't seem fair.

The apes are kind of amazing in this version--special effects have come a long way. Once again an astronaut lands on a planet after going through a time warp space type storm. He is trying to recover a chimp and spacecraft that was sent out.

He lands on the planet and is taken prisoner etc. He figures out that a rescue mission was sent for him and that spacecraft's genetically altered chimps populated this planet, hunting and enslaving descendants of the humans he worked with. (There is a lot of time travel hullabaloo!) He caused all of the problems!! He teaches them to get along and then leaves on a space ship to return to earth--he returns and here is the biggest spoiler of all! EARTH IS INHABITED BY APES -- THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL IS ACTUALLY OF AN APE I LIKE TO CALL APERAHAM LINCOLN!!! It is devastating.

There you go.  Proof of my lack of ambition. I would rather watch 6 Planet of the Apes movies than do anything productive. Just in case I feel ambitious in August I can quash that with a viewing of the new prequel Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

In Memory of Amy

Amy

A year ago today my sister-in-law Amy died. I have not been able to write about her all year and find it just as hard to write about today.  Amy was everything. She was a joy to be around, funny, beautiful, silly, infuriating, thoughtful, selfish, good, short-sighted, anxious and bright.  I personally think her ultimate quality was goodness. Everyone loved her and she genuinely wanted to make people happy.

At her funeral I was shocked by the number of people that came through from "Sharon's" the restaurant where she worked. Everyone had a nice story to tell about how she brightened their day. This included teenagers, to families, and to an elderly gentleman from my neighborhood.

We moved two days after she died and it turned out to be a quite a time of turmoil. We had to find homes for pets, pack, start a new school and experience her passing and funeral with respect and care. I especially wanted to give my husband Dan room to do what he needed to do. I found that I have had a hard time mourning--I am not usual a denial type of person, but in this case I have been.  The funeral was beautiful and everyone (all 6 siblings) gave wonderful talks. We received a beautiful bound copy of all the talks from Dan's sister and I can't seem to even get through one to this day without crying. So I prefer not to read them or even think about it.

Yet, I drive her car.

My camera's broken so here is a good
likeness of "Zippy"

It is the thing that reminds me most of her.  Her Volkswagen new beetle--a bright orange bug. It has the fake orange flower in the little vase by the steering wheel and everything, a total girlie car! After she passed we took over payments and my 17 year old daughter was supposed to drive it, but it's a manual transmission that I can't seem to find the time to teach her (of course I don't really want to).

It is a fun, impractical and turbo charged car. We've named it Zippy Naranja because it is orange (the Spanish word for orange is supposed to add an exotic flair) and Zippy because well it is quite zippy! It is a car to be noticed in--I used to prefer to be understated while driving, but not anymore.  I see people giving each other slugs as I drive by. Many mornings as I drive my other daughter to junior high I pass these two adorable girls with long red hair that must be twins, and I watch to see who slugs who as I drive by.

I've had several elderly ladies stop me as I've parked and ask if I like to drive it. I tell them that I love it--they look at it longingly and them tell me how much they hate to park their SUV's and then one even sighed. At a stop light in Logan, Utah I had a little boy who was probably 8 lean out his window and tell me, "I love your car." Then just two weeks ago a little girl stopped by it and say to her mom, "I want a car like this." When I stopped to unlock it she said to me, "Do you like your car." Of course I said "yes."

Every experience I've had reminds me of Amy. Even her car brought joy to people even though it is so impractical. It is terrible in the snow, it hardly fits two comfortably (and I am a mother of 5), the windows don't like to roll up, but they love to roll down. It is made for little people, I have a hard time fitting my groceries in it let alone me bum!  Yet, I find myself not encouraging my daughter to learn how to drive it--let her have the mini-van--it keeps her humble.

I was sad when I realized in December that the car no longer smelled like Amy. Then just this week when it was finally warm I got in the car and the smell was there. Amy was still there. I've kept most of her radio pre-sets (I had to add NPR) and I can't seem to throw out this one particularly Amy-like frosted pink lip gloss in the arm rest.

The car is full of contradictions, and so was Amy. She was a tragedy and a triumph. She'd had problems but had been sober for three years. She battled anorexia until the end. She brought happiness and frustration to all who loved her. She was fastidious and careless. Just before she passed she had the flu and my wonderful mother-in-law had been with her all evening trying to keep her hydrated and get her to go to the Emergency Room. She refused to go and later that night Amy passed away.

Because she was alone when she died an autopsy was required.  All they could say was that she died of natural causes. No specific thing, just a tired body.  She was a couple of years younger than me, but her body wasn't. It seems like such a waste of joy to have her gone, but it also seems such a triumph that she overcame so much.

Well, I like to think she is still spreading the joy in her little orange Volkswagen even if it does have a new driver.