Saturday, March 28, 2009

Who is that person?


I feel like I've been a thousand different people. I look at pictures of myself even just a year or two ago (or 22 years ago) and hardly recognize myself. I laugh at how impatient I was. I've always been a rushing towards the future kind of gal. I wonder if my twenty year old self saw me now would she be disappointed? Probably.

I unfairly expected so much from myself and from others. Now I'm really happy to get through the basics of my day. I don't have time or actually I don't have the energy to worry about what others are doing or saying. I look at people that in my younger years I would have thought of as failures and wonder at their staying power, at their ability to try to overcome really difficult problems. Success to me now is not something that is necessarily achieved but the effort of trying to be a little bit better everyday.

Sometimes waking and getting dressed is success. Today I made my bed, washed out the dog kennel, did a few loads of laundry, went to the grocery story and delivered several kids several places while also managing to take a bath! I won't list the things that didn't get done--that's just defeatist. I still deserve an ovation--and so do you.

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