I had an epiphany a little while ago when I realized I had written myself out of my own life. I have some back/spine issues that have worried me. I've needed physical therapy and of course my answer was the procrastination method of healing. Putting it off made me afraid to do things. I couldn't do long hikes because I was afraid of getting half way there and not being able to get back. Walking, which had always been a joy, was painful. In fact I could walk up hills, but standing or walking on flat surfaces caused terrible pain in my left leg and even scarier to me was my foot going numb.
I used to be athletic, really athletic, and now I send my kids and husband on hikes, watch them swim and generally write myself out. I've hidden from cameras and when caught by one, I try to disappear in the back. I've dug a huge hole and I needed to climb out, but how? All my little homespun ideas were not working. I needed accountability.
Then my sister called and wanted a workout buddy. She had been working out with a personal trainer since last October--let's call him Zeus. Yes, Zeus (a.k.a. Jared Trevino). By golly this sister had became fitter, faster, and stronger. She invited me to start on June 1st. The goals I made for getting in shape last new year were getting dusty up on the shelf so I decided to take her up on it.
That is how I met Zeus. I walked into the Fit Forever on June 1st and have been stiff and sore ever since. In fact the days that I haven't been sore I can probably count using just my two little hands.
The first workout was about the most humbling thing I've ever done. I walked in - and even though I lost 25 pounds last year I was definitely the largest person in the room! Of course in that room there wasn't anyone remotely unfit. I couldn't do a push up and I had to stop halfway through for a bit so I didn't throw up. I left happy because I hadn't died. Zeus looked gleeful--like he had found a mortal lump of clay that was ready for the molding! That's how he is though--he didn't make me feel fat--he made me feel powerful. (Although I could not walk for days afterward without groaning.)
A couple of weeks later he wanted to measure my body fat. This made me pretty uncomfortable, so what do I do when I'm uncomfortable, I make a joke. This is me, "Have you ever had anyone 80% body fat before. I could be a record setter." He smiled, but had an astounded look in his eye. I asked him what that look was for. He said something like he didn't like to hear that kind of talk because somewhere deep inside of me I might believe it. It was a revelation.
I say things like this to myself all of the time. I feel like if I say something funny and self-deprecating or negative about myself I can beat what anyone else says or thinks to the punch. This is not something Zeus allows.
I think the biggest changes are that I feel brave physically and positive about myself psychologically.
It's been three months and I don't even feel like the same person. I did 12 push-ups (almost perfectly) last Thursday. I talked to my sister for one hour standing--without an ounce of pain. I can do squats 'till the cows come home (too much information?), but best of all I haven't missed a hike all summer. Today we hiked Mt. Grandeur up Millcreek Canyon. It's about 5.5 miles round trip and with a gain of 2300 feet. I was about the last of our group getting there--but who cares, I did it. From that peak I had a great view of Mt. Olympus and gave Zeus a nod while a fellow hiker took pictures.
Proof of Life!