Monday, January 12, 2009

24 is a Vampire or You know you're desperate when:

I've been doing fine with the no TV thing for over a week now--no problem. I can read while my husband watches late night TV. I feel all productive and such as I look down my nose at the whole television industry. Until last night--last night was hard. Last night had the two hour 24 premier (for which we have all waited a very long time) and The Golden Globes (which I find very funny).

I had to read something, anything easy and distracting. I got out Twilight. I have only read it once and I knew it would be absorbing if nothing else. By the time 24 starts I'm at the part where Bella tells Edward she knows he is a vampire. Then he tells her how he is the perfect predator because everything about him draws her in!

I had an epiphany. 24 is a vampire. Everything about it draws me in! I was lying in bed next to my 24 watching husband, desperately reading my book. I kept peeking over the top. The sound of the clock ticking down, the unraveling sound at the break, the yelling, the crashes, Jack Bauer's handsome yet ferret-like face--I was helpless against the onslaught, it's evil and so cold in its disdain for my goals. So, I did not cheat, but I had to surrender the bed and leave with my book. Like reading Twilight is better than 24. Maybe a better idea would be to take a vow of abstinence from Twilight. Now that would have been smart!

So I decided that yesterday was a day of desperation. Desperate act one: I hadn't bought Diet Coke before the Sabbath and I only had one--which embarrassingly sent me into caffeine withdrawal causing a terrible headache--so I drank an old flat Diet Coke in the fridge. Desperate act two: I had hardly any low fat food at home either so I ate two peanut butter sandwiches in a row for lunch (only 1 tsp peanut butter each). Desperate act three: I re-read almost 3/4 of Twilight in one night, just to avoid 24. Talk about unintended consequences.

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